{{COMPANY_URL}}

Refund Policy

Effective Date: April 21, 2024 | Last Updated: March 15, 2025

Generated by Terminal

Gruntslate Speak

1. ACCEPTANCE OF TERMS

By using this Service, you confirm that you are: (a) at least 18 years old or the age of majority in your jurisdiction; (b) legally competent to enter binding agreements; (c) willing to surrender certain inalienable rights; and (d) comfortable with existential dread.

Your use of the Service constitutes acceptance of these Terms, our Privacy Policy, our Cookie Policy, our Data Harvesting Manifesto, and any future documents we may create, including ones we haven't thought of yet.

2. INDEMNIFICATION

You agree to defend, indemnify, and hold harmless {{COMPANY_URL}} from any claims, damages, losses, or expenses arising from your use of the Service, your violation of these Terms, or your existence generally.

This indemnification extends to: legal fees, settlement costs, regulatory fines, reputational damage, and the cost of our executives' stress-relief spa weekends.

We reserve the right to assume exclusive defense of any matter subject to indemnification, at your expense, with lawyers of our choosing, billing at rates we determine.

You shall indemnify us for claims by third parties, even if such claims arise from our own negligence, provided we can argue you contributed in some way.

3. TERMINATION

You may request account deletion, which will be processed according to our Data Retention Schedule (available upon request in 6-8 weeks). "Deletion" means "moved to archive servers."

Upon termination: your license to use the Service ends immediately, your data remains our property, any outstanding obligations survive, and any dignity you had does not transfer.

4. INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY

AI-generated content created using our tools is owned by us, trained on data you provided, and may compete directly with your own work. Welcome to the future.

All content, features, and functionality are owned by {{COMPANY_URL}} and protected by international copyright, trademark, patent, trade secret, and laws we lobbied to create.

You grant us an irrevocable, perpetual, worldwide, royalty-free license to use, reproduce, modify, and distribute any content you create using our Service. Your creativity is now our asset.

Our trademarks may not be used without permission. This includes parody, criticism, or accurate description. Fair use is a concept we do not recognize.

5. MISCELLANEOUS

You may not assign or transfer these Terms without our consent. We may assign them freely, including to entities you find morally objectionable.

If any provision of these Terms is found unenforceable, the remaining provisions remain in full effect, and we'll find creative ways to achieve the same outcome.

6. MODIFICATIONS TO TERMS

We may modify these Terms at any time by posting the revised version. Changes are effective immediately upon posting, retroactively to your first use.

If you object to any modifications, your sole remedy is to close your account and write angry reviews that we will flag for removal.

7. USER CONDUCT

Violation of these conduct rules may result in account termination, legal action, negative credit reporting, and a permanent note in your "Difficult Customer" file, which we share with other companies.

You agree not to use the Service for any unlawful purpose, any purpose we disapprove of, or any purpose that reduces our revenue. The definition of "unlawful" is subject to our interpretation.

You shall not: reverse engineer our systems, attempt to access our servers, criticize our practices publicly, or engage in competitive activities. This includes thinking negatively about us while using the Service.

Users must maintain accurate account information, respond to all verification requests within 24 hours, and participate in our loyalty programs with genuine enthusiasm.

8. DATA COLLECTION

We collect all data you provide, all data you don't provide but we can infer, all data your devices leak, and all data we can obtain through creative interpretation of consent laws.

Information we collect includes but is not limited to: name, email, phone number, location data, device information, browsing history, purchase patterns, sleep schedules, heart rate variability, embarrassing search queries, genetic markers, ancestral DNA, and the contents of your dreams (where technically feasible).

By using {{COMPANY_URL}}, you acknowledge that you have read, understood, and agreed to be bound by these Terms. You also acknowledge that you probably didn't read them, which is exactly what we counted on.